Welcome to 2021: a time that we have all been looking forward to with great anticipation and optimism. However, as the pandemic looms over us (currently 1 in 50 people have COVID-19 in the UK alone) it’s difficult to feel positive about what this year has in store for us all.
The truth is, there are a lot of things we cannot currently control. The seemingly never-ending lockdowns, the loss of income caused by the pandemic, the fact that we can’t physically see family and friends and the hardest thing to accept is not knowing what this year will bring. Will we be able to travel again? Will we feel safe again? Will we be financially secure? Will we feel lonely? Of course, every year we ask ourselves similar questions because we can never truly control everything, nor do we ever know what the year will have in store for us. But COVID has forced us to throw out the old map of our lives and draw a completely new one. Or in most cases, not consult a map at all. We are all free-styling and doing the best we can.
A friend of mine told me that the word for 2021 is ‘flexibility’ and it got me thinking about what that word meant and how important it is in our everyday lives. I practice daily yoga to feel physically strong and flexible and I like the way it calms my mind. However, through yoga, I have learned that flexibility should seep into every aspect of your life. It’s important to have a flexible mind: Yes, set goals and intentions and write ‘to do’ lists but also stay open to new ideas that can sometimes visit us when we least expect it. Don’t get fixated on the small stuff but instead try to always see the bigger picture.
It’s important to have a flexible heart: Know the importance of listening to what you truly want every day. Some days you feel like Superwoman, full of energy and good intentions and you’re totally winning at life. Other days a slower pace is needed. Maybe you need more cups of tea, maybe you need to have more ‘quiet time’ or instead of completing the ‘to do’ list, you need to take a step back and talk to a friend. There are many days when things don’t quite go to plan and I think it’s important to accept this. Why not be grateful for what the day has given you, learn from it and move on?
January is always a tricky month as there is so much pressure to set resolutions, hit the ground running, set goals and ACHIEVE. This year is more challenging than ever because the pandemic is shaping our goals, our thoughts, our emotions and what we feel we’re capable of doing. Many of us are living through some kind of grief or loss, having to adapt to our new ‘normal’ and yet at the same time feeling guilty if we haven’t ticked all the boxes in our life. It’s a constant balancing act and yet we aren’t trained in the art of tight-rope walking. It’s no wonder we feel muddled, unmotivated and confused half the time!
But amid the January Blues, we must remember that we do have control over some things in our life. We can decide to eat healthy, wholesome food; to exercise, to limit our use of social media, to find a window of time in which to meditate or do an activity we enjoy such as baking, crafting, reading or even bird-watching! To reach out and talk to a friend or family member, to take a walk and feel the cold wind on our face or to simply stare into space and enjoy some niksen (read more about it here). It is in taking these actions that we learn to control our mindset and in doing so, it helps us cope when life takes a turn that we don’t expect or desire.
In essence; form self-care habits when you’re feeling good so that you can lean on these tools when you’re feeling bad. A friend of mine once said that ‘we cannot choose our emotions but we can choose our thoughts’ and this has always stuck with me, particularly on days when I feel overwhelmed, sad or unmotivated. I think it’s important to acknowledge and feel these emotions without judgement but also to realise that we do have a choice when it comes to how we respond to them.
We all know there is nothing worse than being stressed, anxious and upset and having a friend say ‘you should try meditation, it really helped me.’ Yes, on a logical level we can see how this could be the case but often when we’re in that state of mind we’re not thinking logically! We are being driven by pure emotion and so it’s not uncommon to reject that advice quite vehemently. After all, do we really want to stop what we’re doing and sit completely still for 15 minutes focusing on nothing but our despairing thoughts? Not really. It terrifies us. But if we invest our time when we’re feeling emotionally stable to cultivate habits such as meditation, yoga and other mindfulness activities it becomes second nature. Then when the cloudy days come along we have the tools to cope with it in a much more productive way. We can see a way out, we can feel grateful, we can become those annoyingly positive people who find lessons in everything and realise that from every single experience we learn, grow and become the person we’re meant to be.
And let’s face it, you totally want to be that annoyingly positive person. Whether it’s the yogi you follow on youtube who doesn’t even break a sweat when she’s bending herself into unnatural positions, or the friend on Instagram glowing with no makeup on and posting nature pictures with #grateful or even that colleague who lost their job but who started a new business which is thriving and they’re now ‘happier than ever.’ The only reason we feel frustrated at these people is that we’re jealous. Because we feel like they have something we don’t. But many of us are capable of creating the life we want for ourselves and most of that comes from accepting the things we can’t change and taking action on the things we can.
And taking action doesn’t just have to be for you, but can mean addressing issues outside of your own life. The perfect way to get out of our own heads is to think of others and ask the question: what is it that I can do to help another person or a cause that I’m passionate about? Can I pick up the phone and check-in with a friend? Can I give my time and energy to a cause that I believe in, perhaps volunteering my skills? Can I donate to a charity or even make waves and campaign for an important cause? The act of ‘doing and giving’ can put our lives in perspective and harness positive energy which in turn feeds back into our own lives and allows us to feel grateful for what we have and thankful that we’re able to help others not quite as fortunate.
These acts of kindness don’t have to be big and bold. They can be incredibly small. Perhaps you share a few vegan recipes with a friend who’s thinking of taking the plunge or send a text to someone who you know is having a tough time. There are many ways to help, and they don’t take much time or money; you just have to be open to the possibilities.
It’s not easy choosing to make a better, healthier life for yourself because it often involves breaking old habits and cultivating new ones and that is why not everyone will go down that path but know that it is indeed possible. The road might be long but there’s no rush, you only have to take small steps, even if sometimes you feel like you’ve gone the wrong way and have to turn back. As long as you keep walking, you’ll get there. And the most important thing? Don’t forget to take as many breaks as you need; pop the kettle on, put your feet up and RELAX. 😎
Ready to make a change? Here are some resources to get you started…
- Boho Beautiful online/youtube/app. Great yoga practices and short meditations with mantras that have helped me lately. But be warned: You’ll have to put up with looking at Julia’s perfect body bending into unnatural positions without breaking a sweat.
- Deliciously Ella App: For only 99p a month this is a great investment as not only are there tasty vegan recipes but also pilates, yoga and meditation videos.
- @heartcorelife on Instagram has some great pilates and yoga workouts for free!
- @bodbyrod is an incredible Ballet Barre instructor full of pure joy and a perky Scottish Accent. You can’t do one of his workouts without laughing!
- @deliciouslyella has lots of free pilates and yoga as well as nourishing recipes so a good way to dip your toes in before investing in the app.
- Untamed (Glennon Doyle) is utterly inspiring and empowering!
- www.kiva.org is a place where you can lend money to a needy entrepreneur from a 3rd World country to help change their life. This can include helping them set up a business, go to university or buy food or animals for their farm. 97% of loans are paid back and you get to know exactly where your money is going and what impact it has had!
- www.clientearth.org is an environmental UK based charity who use the law to create lasting change throughout the world. You can donate as little as £5 so you feel like you’re putting your money where your mouth is!
If you would like to share your thoughts on this subject, I would love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below or SUBSCRIBE via email so you never miss a blog post or delicious recipe again!